Love Letters
by jensbuttonmoon
Summary: The US postal service shakes up things in the Crane household R
1. Default Chapter

Love Letters pt 1

Niles looked at the case file in front of him and then back to the patient at the other side of the desk ,   
  


"So Mrs Adams," He said "Tell me how you've been managing this week ?"   
  


"It's been just awful Dr Crane" The mousy woman replied her eyes filling with tears "I miss him so much . I spoke to a friend of mine and she told me when her husband died she would write to him everyday , she'd never mail them obviously but she'd keep them in a drawer and then she felt like she was still able to tell him all the things he would have had he been alive. I tried it but it made me worse I cried even more , I'm worn done Dr Crane , what do you think I should do ?"   
  


"Well , I have an exercise not unlike the one you've described and I'd like you to try it for a week . I want you to keep a journal , every time you think you're going to cry think of something wonderful that you and Mr Adams did while you were married and then write it down . When you've done that look at it again and try , instead of thinking how awful it is that you'll never do it again , to think how wonderful it was to have been able to do it at all. Then by the time you come next week you should have a journal filled with happy memories ." Niles looked at his watch "now I see our time is up for today , will you do as i suggested and bring the journal with you next week so we can discuss it ?"   
  


"Ok Dr Crane I will if you think it'll help." she got up as Niles moved to open the door for her .   
  


"Goodbye , Mrs Adams . Have a good week" . Niles looked up seeing Frasier arrive in the waiting room .   
  


"Hi Niles . Got a minute?" he said   
  


"Of course , I don't have another patient for an hour what's up ?"   
  


When they were safely in the office Frasier looked at his brother with concern , "It's Daphne and Donny , they've decided to have an engagement party , a big one , and they've asked me to let them have it in the apartment."   
  


Niles sank into his chair , "But why now ? I don't understand , they've been engaged for three months"   
  


"Well that's the other thing , they've set a date , they want to make an announcement at the party"   
  


Niles felt like his heart was being crushed just when he thought his life couldn't get any more unhappy something always proved him wrong. Frasier stared at him   
  


"Are you Ok?" he asked   
  


"I will be" , Niles replied quietly "but if you don't mind I'd like to be on my own, I have a mountain of paper work to do" He moved papers about his desk as if to prove the point and avoided Frasier's worried glances until his brother finally gave up .   
  


"Ok Niles" He said eventually "You know where I am if you need me"   
  


Niles never looked up from what he was doing and when Frasier had left he sat back , closing his eyes and feeling himself being overtaken by the now familiar waves of misery the thought of Daphne and Donny filled him with .   
  


"Snap out of it !" he scolded himself reaching for the writing pad on the other side of the desk "Referral letters don't write themselves"He looked down at the blank page and thought about what Mrs Adams had been saying . Maybe he should write that sort of letter to Daphne. Maybe by putting his feelings down on paper he'd finally be able to deal with them . When he started to write it was as if every emotion he'd felt for the last 7 years flowed through the nib of his pen , he told her how much he loved her , how he'd worshipped her from afar for so long and how her engagement to Donny was crushing him. When he had finished he neatly folded it and placed it in an envelope and when he;'d addressed it he opened the drawer at the side of his desk and dropped it in absentmindedly looking at the clock . As he realised his next patient would be waiting he got up and marched to the door , in his hurry he failed to notice that the neatly written white envelope had missed the drawer completely and fell discretely under his desk .   
  


***************************   
  


Daphne stormed out of the bedroom as Frasier entered the apartment. She slammed the phone on it's stand and marched into the kitchen.   
  


"Daphne is something wrong ?" Frasier asked his concern for his new china dinner service growing by the minute   
  


"Oh it's just men !" Daphne said appearing at the door with a large kitchen knif she'd been using to slice the roast in one hand   
  


"I see can I take it that was Donny on the phone ?"   
  


"Yeah , he just makes me so mad sometimes , I wanted my uncle Jackie to come up for the engagement party , you know he's the only family I have close by and I wanted him here , but he's too odd according to Donny , he wouldn't want his lawyer friends to know his future wife had a transvestite uncle. You know if he keeps this up it might make no difference because there may not be a wedding !"   
  


Frasier stared on in amazment as she turned on her heel and returned to cutting the roast just as the phone rang.   
  


"If that's him you can tell him I'm just considering my unusual hertiage and I'll call him sometime I'm more normal !" Daphne shouted from the kitchen as Frasier lifted it   
  


"Crane residence" he said "No I'm afraid she doesn't want to talk to you Donny , yes I know , I know I see your point . I have no idea but you've really upset her and right now she's banging around in my kitchen with a carving knife preparing dinner so I wouldn't advise a visit this evening anyway . Ok I'll tel her , bye Donny"   
  


Daphne appeared at the door trying to look like she didn't care what had been said "Well?" She asked "what did he say?"   
  


"He said he loves you and call him when you're ready to be reasonable" Finishing the sentence Frasier ducked for the cover of his bedroom as daphne returned to slaming about in the kitchen muttering loudly about unreasonable boyfriends and canceled engagements.   
  


***************************** 

Niles sealed the envelope on the last of his referal letters and looked at the clock , he felt drained and with his appointments finished early he thought he'd go home and relax with a nice bottle of wine and a good book , god knows he could do with it . He lifted his brief case and his coat and walked absentmindedly into the waiting area . His secretary was still at her desk   
  


"I'm heading off" He old her "I've left a pile of referal letters on my desk , could you be sure to mail them this evening some of them are quite important"   
  


"I will Dr Crane" she replied "I'll do it on my way home, good night , I'll see you tomorrow"   
  


"Goodnight" Niles said already halfway to the elevator .   
  


Looking around her desk and then at the clock his secretary decided if he was gone and there was no work to be done she may as well head home herself , pulling on her coat she lifted her handbag and went into his office to pick up the mail . Lifting the large pile of letters she noticed the over flowing trash can on the other side of the desk   
  


"I see the cleaning service is working to it's usual high standard" she said to herself and moving round she bent picking up the stray bits of rubish and moving the bin into clear view so they wouldn't miss it again that evening . She was about to get back again when she noticed the white envellope of Niles never to be mailed letter under the desk. "honestly , that man" she carried on her conversation with herself "Now if I hadn't noticed that rubish I'd have missed this one , and knowing my luck it would have been the most important" adding the letter to the pile and still talking quietly to herself she left the office . 


	2. love letter 2

Love Letters Part 2   
  


Niles looked at his watch as he rode up in the elevator toward his office. Yawning he thought back to the awkward conversation he'd had with Donny the night before and the irony of it made him laugh . Apparently he'd ha a fight with Daphne and he phoned Niles looking for someone to sympathise with him and agree that she was being unreasonable . It was still a mystery to him why Donny had suddenly decided he was his best friend , but after half an hour of listening to him ramble Niles was ready to commit murder or suicide or both. Didn't he realise how lucky he was to have Daphne at all ! The doors opened and he made his way down the hall , he was 5 minutes late for his first appointment and he hoped she wasn't there already . One thing he'd decided during the sleepless hours of the night before was that he wasn't going to be helped by silly un-mailed letters and he was determined to dispose of the one he'd written before it caused any problems. As he rounded the corner into his waiting area he saw he wasn't going to have a good start to the day , his fist appointment wasn't there but Donny was .   
  


"Donny" he said surprised "What are you doing here?"   
  


"Hi Niles" the Lawyer replied with a weak smile "I was wondering if you could spare me a few minutes"   
  


"Well my first client will be here any minute as a matter of fact she'd late"   
  


Donny was about to respond when Niles secretary spoke from behind him "oh Dr Crane she cancelled , she has flu"   
  


"Well then it looks like I do , go on into the office" Niles said silently cursing his clients and his staff , when his secretary spoke again   
  


"I mailed those letters , one had fallen on the floor under your desk but luckily I caught it . I managed to catch the last collection so they should get there this morning"   
  


"Thank you" Niles said closing the door. For a fleeting moment he wondered about the letter on the floor then he remembered he wasn't alone and turned his attention back to Donny   
  


"So , How can I help?"he asked hanging up his coat   
  


****************************   
  


daphne's morning wasn't going much better. Martin had refused to do his exercises , Frasier had complained about everything from the strength of his coffee to the organisation of his sock drawer and Eddie had trampled mud all over the couch . To top it all she'd spent most of the night contemplating whether she was being unreasonable and if Donny was right and if not what she was going to do about it . She pottered about the kitchen putting away the breakfast dishes as the TV blared in the sitting room   
  


"Daph!" martin shouted "any chance of a coffee?"   
  


She sighed . All she seemed to do was run around after people and right now Donny was beginning to feel like just another person to add to the list . She poured the coffee adding Milk and Sugar and taking it into the other room ,   
  


"Do you have to have that so loud ?" She asked shortly   
  


"Yes ! Otherwise it's not so much fun" Martin replied turning his attention back to the pro wrestling"   
  


"Oh yeah , two grown men beating the pulp out of each other , great fun"   
  


Martin took his eyes momentarily from the screen "Fighting with Donny are we?" he asked grinning   
  


Daphne was livid "None of your bloody business!" she said louder than she'd intended , then "oh what's the point I' going to get the mail" she stormed out slamming the door .   
  


*************************   
  


Niles looked across the table at the man who for a fleeting moment months before he had felt had finally given him the courage to go after the one thing he could ever remember truly wanting, only to discover that his temporary saviour had stolen that thing from under his nose . Now looking at him again across the desk he wondered for the thousandth time what Daphne could possibly see in him , and now here he was expecting advice , help , even sympathy because he'd been insensitive and hurt her.   
  


"So you see my position" he was saying "I mean I'm planning to invite some pretty important people to this party , I want daphne to make a good impression , I mean in this business a man is judged by how his wife comes across"   
  


"And you told her this ?" Niles Asked   
  


"Well , yeah of course , then she flew right off the handle and said if that was how I felt maybe I should find myself someone a little more socially acceptable." Donny's face was a mass of confusion , Nile couldn't help but think how pitiful it was that this man couldn't see why that would have up set any woman not just Daphne   
  


"So basically you said 'yes I love you and I want to marry you because you are wonderful , and yes I want to show you off to all my friends by having a party but while they're around would you mind not actually being you .' That's what you are telling me mad her mad"   
  


"But I didn't mean it like that . Oh god I've got to fix this . Now . And you've got to come with me!"   
  


"I can't I have patients" Niles said . He was sure he wasn't doing anything to help Donny keep her , that was for definite   
  


"Please Niles" Donny asked turning swiftly back into a lawyer again "Remember the urinal cakes ?"   
  


Niles looked at his appointment book and sighed "Oh alright but we better be quick I can reschedule my 10 o'clock but I have to be back by 11"   
  


Donny whisked him out of the office before he had time to change his mind and riding down in the elevator toward the parking lot a voice somewhere in Niles head taunted him . Donny had stolen daphne and now he was going to help him hold on to her . At this point he didn't feel his life could get any worse .   


****************************** 

Daphne closed the mail box and headed back toward the elevator . As the doors closed she flicked through the letters and plastic covered journals. Just when she thought that there was , as usual , nothing for her she came to the crisp white envelope neatly inscribed in black ink. She reached in and pulling it from the pile sent the others scattering to the floor, bending she picked them up just as the doors chimed and opened at the apartment . When she went into the sitting room Martin was no where to be seen , but then neither was Eddie and it didn't take a genius to work out that he had gotten tired of her bad mood and they had sneaked out using the service elevator. She placed the pile of mail on the shelf by the door and turned her attention back to her letter, she'd almost gotten it open when the phone rang .   
  


"Damn" she said out loud then picking it up "Crane Residence" Donny's voice filled her ear and he had just managed to get out "Don't hang" up when she promptly hung up. Leaning with her back to the phone she finally took out the letter and began to read ;   
  


My Dearest Daphne 

For the longest time your face has filled my head . You have been my image of perfection , a perfection I never knew existed until you glided into my life with the breath taking strength of a winters wind and the calming serenity of a summers day . I have , over the past years stood by helplessly as my feelings for you have grown and everyday the desire to be near you , to simply be in your presence has become more compelling. The idea that you might one day love me as I do you has been my strength in hard times and the stuff of my dreams . 

The times we have spent together , at the snow ball when for an fleeting moment I thought you loved me too and just last year when we shared a meal in so perfect a candle lit atmosphere , have been snap shots of the life I'd hoped we'd one day share . You see with all my heart I wanted to be the person who shared not just your best times but all times . The person who dried your tears , made you mad, cared for you when you were sick and was always around to laugh at your jokes and share your memories . In your eyes I saw our children and in my imagination I saw us growing old in each other's arms . 

I have tried so often to tell you that I have long since given up counting. Somehow , however it always seemed easier to live with my hopes , for had I told you and you rejected me I would surly have died of a broken heart. Now the decision is out of my hands . Someone has come along and seen in you all the things I always knew existed and they had stolen your heart . It is he to whom you will dedicate your life , his children you will have and he who will spend the rest of his days thankful that you are his . Seeing you together , that he has done what I tried so often to do , is agony to me and yet a situation completely of my own making . 

So it seems the story of the life we may have shared is destined to go forever unwritten. I can only pray that he will make you as happy as I know I could have done had I only trusted both of us enough to try . I will always love you and I will always want your profoundest happiness. I suppose this is a good bye of sorts , a good bye to delusion , to hope , but never think that I will ever say good bye to my love for you . If he ever fails you , if he ever turns your smiles to frowns or your laughter to tears , know that I will am always here , always loving and primarily always your friend 

NILES   
  
  
  


Daphne reached for the bookshelf for support as tears rolled down her cheeks. The door handle turned and as she tried to compose herself Donny marched into the apartment closely followed by Niles . He was talking , rambling , but she wasn't listening . Niles looked at the piece of paper in her hand and at the familiar hand writing and as there eyes met there was a fleeting moment of acknowledgment . He knew now what the letter on the floor had been , he knew that she'd read it and most importantly she knew he knew. 


	3. love letters 3

Love Letters pt 3   
  


The tension in the room was palatable . Niles could feel his heart beating so fast he thought he might pass out . Donny's voice was still rambling in the background as tears ran down Daphne's face and she turned and ran toward her bed room .   
  


"Oh God , now I've gone and upset her again" Donny said "Talk to her Niles , please"   
  


Niles looked at him , how could he face her , he had to leave . But Donny wasn't taking no for an answer"Now Niles quickly!" he repeated . Niles felt himself begin to walk toward Daphne's room , somehow his feet were moving but his brain was still saying "get out of here". He was in front of the door now and he saw his hand reach up and knock.   
  


"Daphne it's Niles , an we talk please?" There was no reply and he could hear her crying on the other side of the door . He reached for the handle and opening the door he quietly went inside. She was lying face down on the bed the letter still clutched tightly in her hand . He walked toward her and gently touched her back   
  


"I'm so sorry ," he said feeling tears well in his own eyes "I never meant to hurt you , you were never meant to see that"   
  


Daphne turned to look at him her eyes were full of anger "How can you do this to me ?" she asked "now of all times ! You had years to tell me this and you wait until I'm engaged to someone else !"   
  


"I..... I..... I don't know what I can say to make it better except that it's all true , but like I said I only want you to be happy and if Donny makes you happy then I respect that."   
  


She was standing facing him no and for an instant he thought he saw her look soften "you really think it's that simple ? I just put this in the bin and carry on as if nothing ever happened ? God , I never had you down for being so naive. Do you realise I was happy , al I ever wanted all my life was to be married , to be Mrs Whoever , to have a couple of kids and a nice home and I finally thought I was going to have it . You could have stoped this months ago when that witch you were married to tried to drag me into your divorce , hey there's irony for you I guess she was right all along . And you could have stopped it when I asked your advice before I said yes to Donny but instead you as good as told me to marry him ! Now .... I mean now you've clouded everything . Even if I don't want to be with you how can I in all conscience marry him?! I loved him that much this shouldn't have been an issue , I should even have thought about it for 1 second. But now you've made me doubt myself and I don't know if I can ever forgive you for that ." She turned away and stared out the window 

Niles looked at the floor , he didn't have anything to say in his own defence , he wished he did. He was about to leave when she began talking again   
  


"You told me my visions were a sign of my fear of commitment ! You said I was using them because I was frightened , and all the time you must have been thinking ...... I don't know what you must have been thinking . Do you realise that everything that's ever happened between us over the last 7 years , everything I've ever told you because I thought you were my friend is changed . What was it , was all your interest simply because one day you were hoping to get me into bed ?I thought I'd finally found a man who could be my best friend , who cared for me because he ....... Oh what's the use it's all changed anyway . Anyway if this is all true" she said waving the letter in front of him "Why did you let me come this far and then let this happen?"   
  


Niles felt like he was being stabbed , how could she believe he had only been her friend because he was attracted to her "Daphne no please believe me I never want to loose your friendship and I would never pretend to be your friend , it's not possible no one could spend time with you and pretend you are much to wonderful a person. As for the letter I told you I didn't mean for it to get mailed , my secretary found it on the floor and she put it with some others , I didn't even realise it was gone until I came in and saw you reading it."   
  


"And that's another thing what exactly are you doing here ? What's going on ?" 

"Donny asked me to help he realised he'd hurt you and he wanted to make it better , he thought I could help . He called me last night and then when I got to the office this morning he was waiting . He told me about your argument and when I pointed out that I thought he was being insensitive he insisted on coming over here and me coming too."   
  


"Oh so you thought you'd help ?" Daphne's eyes flashed with a mixture of pain and anger "I just can't believe you've done this I can't believe this is happening"   
  


"It was an accident , please believe me you were never meant to read it" Niles voice was pleading his eyes were filled with tears   
  


She stared at him , she could hear footsteps in the corridor reaching down she put the letter in the drawer in her night stand . The foot steps came closer   
  


"What is it you and your brother are always saying ? There's no such thing as an accident ?"   
  


Niles was dumb founded . He was about to answer when Donny put his head tentatively round the door "Daph I'm so sorry" he said ,"has this man convinced you to forgive me yet?"   
  


Daphne looked between the two men , her mind was spinning . Donny was standing beside Niles and she felt like she might scream from the frustration of it all . Niles was completely silent he stared at the floor   
  


"Daph. Please." Donny said again   
  


Once again she looked from one to the other . Niles looked up and for a fleeting second their eyes met and she decided she was going to have her dream and no one was going to stop it . It may not be perfect , and it may not be exactly what she hoped for but she was getting married and she wasn't going to let doubts stop her now . It was fear , she told her self , she wasn't in love with Niles , it was just another clever way to avoid commitment . She should have thrown the letter away immediately and saved all this hassle. She wasn't going to let any silly commitment phobia ruin what had every chance of being a perfectly acceptable marriage. Taking her eyes from Niles she looked at Donny   
  


"Of course he has ." she said standing between him and Niles "Now lets not fight anymore . We have a party and a wedding to plan" she looked at Niles still consumed by anger and pain at the lose of what she thought her life had been since she'd met him . Niles felt the crushing sensation that only comes when your world crumbles around you burying you in the rubble . 


	4. love letters 4

Love Letters pt 4   
  


The moon shone through Daphne's window as she lay staring at the ceiling . Donny's breathing was the only other sound as she wept quietly . The anger she'd felt that morning had passed quickly after Niles had left and she had spent the evening feeling nothing for anyone , not Niles , not Donny , not even herself as numbness reached the core of her being. She'd planned the party with military precision , guest lists had been compiled with compromises on both sides and caterers organised . She'd dragged the evening out until she was sure the only thing Donny would want to do when he got to bed was sleep and then she'd feel exhausted beside him. The numbness was gone now and she was tortured by doubt and guilt . The letter lay in her night stand drawing her like a magnet . She wanted to take it out , to read it in the hope that it might somehow make her mind up for her , but still she wanted to never see it again , because maybe if she couldn't see it she could pretend it didn't exist and she could go on as normal. Getting out of bed she sighed and opened the drawer taking it out and headed for the kitchen . Lifting the kettle she placed it on the stove , staring at it sadly she sighed , unfortunately she was pretty sure this was one problem the answer to which she wasn't going to find in the bottom of a tea cup.   
  


************************************ 

Across town Niles was sitting in an armchair in the corner of his bedroom the same cool moonlight reflecting on his pale tired face . It was over , he had tried . Well he'd always known she wouldn't want him he didn't know why he was surprised , but never in his worst nightmares had he seen it happening like this. She'd been so hurt , so angry , it tore him apart remembering the look in her eyes when he'd entered that bedroom . Not only had he lost his dream that she might someday love him but he'd lost her friendship and that's what hurt more than anything. He silently wished for some miracle that would make the last 24 hours disappear , he'd give anything to go back , to un-write that letter , to undo all the pain it had caused , but he knew it was done now and he was going to have to live with his mistake . The irony of it struck him , if he had simply lived with the fact Donny made her happy he'd not be in this situation now. Every thought made his heart ache more. Maybe she was right , maybe he always meant for that letter to get mailed other wise he'd have been more careful . Maybe he'd hoped she'd read it and fall into his arms like he'd always dreamed she would . He laughed dryly , boy had he been kidding himself. Lifting the empty wine glass from the small table beside him and headed for the kitchen to refill it .   
  


*********************************   
  


Daphne sat at the dinning room table staring hopelessly at the letter , she'd never had someone say these type of things to her , never thought it was possible to love someone this much and keep it a secret for so long. She didn't know what she wanted , her mind raced and her heart felt like it was being ripped in two . She was so absorbed in her own pain that she didn't hear the soft padding of footsteps behind her nor did she notice as he stood behind her quietly looking over her shoulder ;   
  


"Daphne , what's going on ?" he asked after a minute or two. She spun round on the chair and stared at him , in an instant she realised there was no point in trying to hide anything and with a resigned sigh she handed him the letter . Donny sat at the other side of the table and started to read.   
  


As the minutes ticked by Daphne watched as he read and digested ever word , when he was finished he placed the letter on the table and looked at her . There was no anger or pain in his eyes, none of the emotions she'd expected or felt herself. Finally he spoke   
  


"When did this arrive?"   
  


"This morning" she answered trying hard to decide what she felt , there was no fear because she realised she didn't care if he left her and there was no sadness , she was sure she was cried done . She was discussing this with him now more like an objective observer than a player in her own life "He said I wasn't meant to see it , that his secretary mailed it by mistake"   
  


"Is it true ? I mean does he say he means what he says here?"   
  


"He says so , but he says he wants me to be happy and if you make me happy he respects that"   
  


"And do you have feelings for him?" She was struck by the cold objectivity in Donny's voice , in a split second he had turned from her lover , her future husband, into a lawyer again . He was questioning her like a witness , she realised their relationship was on trial and she was the chief witness for both the prosecution and the defence and the jury was still well and truly out .   
  


"I don't know" she answered simply   
  


"Well if there was no me" he said standing up and lifting her tea cup moving to the kitchen to refill it "If there was no me would you be having such a hard time deciding how you felt ?" he came back and handed her the cup , he'd poured himself coffee she could smell it . He sat down again facing her and she stared intently at him   
  


"No I don't think so" she said finally admitting it to herself   
  


"And is the reason you're here with me and not with him because you love me or because you feel you should be ?" The fleeting second of hesitation Daphne felt was confirmation enough for both of them "Don't answer that" he said "you just did" 

Daphne started at him . She had noting to say for she knew he was right. Her hesitation had just been further confirmation of what she'd been thinking all day , of the reason she'd gotten so mad a Niles , she wasn't in love with Donny she was in love with marriage and the letter and the doubts it had caused were only further confirmation of it . But she didn't know if she loved Niles either. Every emotion in her body felt like it had been squeezed dry by the events of the day and now she could only watch as Donny disappeared coming back a few minutes later dressed and carrying his briefcase .   
  


"Good bye" he said coldly as she watched willing herself to do something , say something feel something while he left closing the door quietly behind him . The jury was in and the end was the verdict , with no grounds for appeal .   
  


****************************** 

The phone on Niles secretary's desk rang putting down her magazine she picked it up .   
  


"Niles Crane's office how may I help you ?" she listened to the voice on the other end "Yes , yes of course I remember you . No I'm afraid he's not in this morning but he did tell me he'd be reachable at home if I had any problems with re scheduling . Do you have that number ? ..... Yes of course you do silly me . Ok thanks for calling . Bye"   
  


She placed the receiver back and returning her attentions back to her magazine wondered for a brief second what could possibly be so urgent .   
  


*******************************   
  


Niles was lying on the fainting couch slowly sipping black coffee when he heard the elevator doors chime and a quiet knock at his door. He got up and answered it without even bothering to check who was there . He could barely contain his surprise when he came face to face with the person on the other side.   
  


"Donny!" he said a little louder than he'd meant   
  


"Niles we need to talk" marching past him Donny threw his coat on the couch Niles felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach . "I know about the letter..." blow number two " and Daphne and I are finished" This final blow nearly carried Niles off his feet . Donny couldn't have winded him more had he been actually kicking him . He gripped the door handle for support "Oh My god " was all he managed to say . Donny kept on talking   
  


"I don't know if what you said in that letter was true or not and frankly I don't care, but what I do care about is Daphne , and like you I want her to be happy. Now I don't know what she plans to do . I'm not sure she knows herself , but I'm telling you this and believe me when I say it . If she decides to give you two a go and you've just had a case of wanting what you can't have and you hurt her I swear I will come after you . She may not love me , but I do love her and letting her go is the hardest thing I've ever had to do . So if your lucky enough to have her give you a chance don't blow it or you'll have me to answer to"   
  


Before Niles had time to compose himself enough to speak Donny had picked up his coat and was standing at the door waiting for him to open it . When he was gone Niles stood with his back to the door trying to take in what he had heard , he didn't know whether to cry or shout . Then reality struck him another blow , he'd heard it all from Donny not Daphne if she'd wanted him she knew where he was but she'd not contacted him at all . And why should she , he thought slumping again into the couch . I've completely destroyed her dream , she'll never forgive me now as a matter of fact she probably hates me more.   
  


***********************************   
  


Daphne stood in the lobby of the Montana waiting patiently for the elevator . She had no idea what she was doing there , she had left the house to go shopping and suddenly found herself parking outside the building . Now she was only sure of one thing , what ever she decided she and Niles needed to talk. She stared at the floor as the elevator doors opened , she walked forward paying little attention to were she was going and walked straight into the person coming out   
  


"I'm sorry , my fault I should have been......" she stopped mid sentence as she looked up and say Donny standing in front of the now closing door, frantically pressing buttons she tried to get them to open again but she was already on her way up . 


	5. love letters 5

Love Letters part 5   
  


The elevator doors opened at Niles apartment and standing in front of them Daphne realised it was decision time again . Where did she want to be and more importantly who did she want to be with. She could lat the doors close and go after Donny or she could get out and talk to Niles . They began to close and she stepped forward stopping them . Standing in front of his door she hesitated before reaching up and ringing the bell . Hearing the chime inside she waited nervously. 

Niles looked at the door , what if it was Donny back again , he didn't think he could face him . He stood with his hand resting on the handle.   
  


"Who is it?" he called   
  


"It's me" came the barely audible reply from the other side . The sound of her voice made his heart skip , he pulled the door open and stared at her. He searched her eyes for some clue , some hint as to why she'd come but he got nothing but sadness from their depths . The sparkle was gone and it was all his fault. They stood looking at each other for what seemed like an eternity before either of them spoke "Can I come in ?" she said finally   
  


"Yes , yes of course you can" Niles replied "I jus didn't expect to see you" he watched as she stood nervously fiddling with the strap of her handbag   
  


"Well to be honest I didn't expect to be here , I don't even know what I have to say all I know is we need to talk. Donny and I are over . But I'm guessing you know that since I just saw him in the lobby " she was sitting now and Niles joined her on the couch   
  


"Yes , he's just left , actually when the bell rang I thought it was him back again"   
  


"What did he say ?" Daphne asked not even sure she wanted to know the answer. The events of the night before still seemed so unreal , the whole twenty four hours seemed to have passed as if she were watching someone else's life . A part of her wanted Niles to say Donny was angry , that he'd shouted and raved and he blamed Niles for everything , somehow she thought it would ease her conscience.   
  


"He told me you were finished , he said he knew about the letter. He said he loves you and letting you go is the hardest thing he's ever had to do , but he knew you didn't love him and there was no point . He wants you to be happy . Then he said he didn't know what you planned to do next but if I was lucky enough to have you give me a chance I better not hurt you or I'd have him to answer to. Then he left before I had a chance to say anything ."   
  


Daphne took in the information , her conscience was now anything but clear , but she had to focus ."We need to talk about the letter" she said reaching into her handbag and taking it out. Niles watched her hoping he might be going to find out how she really felt about it . "I know I've asked you already but did you mean everything you've said here ?"   
  


Niles breathed deeply , it was up to him now , he'd off telling her how he felt to many times . If he was going to convince her he was sincere he couldn't hold anything back. He sat back in the chair and stared straight ahead , he opened his heart , unlatched the floodgates that had been holding back his emotions for so many years while she sat quietly listening .   
  


"I've never known feelings like the ones I have for you ," He began "I thought I loved Maris , I was quite content to put up with everything she had to throw at me because that's what I thought love was. She dictated and I did and if I loved her I would be happy with that . Then you came along and in a slit second I realised there must be more to love than that . I'm a realist , don't get me wrong , I won't say I was in love with you from the first minute I layed eyes on you , but from that minute I knew I wanted to be close to you. The more effort I made to spend time with you and the more I got to know you the more I grew to love you. I wanted to tell you , I tried god knows how many times but something always stopped me . I'd watch you dating other men and every time I'd feel like my heart was being crushed , and when they'd hurt you I just wanted to hold you to tell you everything would be Ok. Then it got to the stage where the thought of you not loving me and losing you forever was the most terrifying thing I could think off, so it seemed easier not to take the risk . When Maris tried to name you in the divorce , your right I should have told you , but you were so surprised and so convinced she was wrong it seemed simpler to wait until the divorce was final . Then you started dating Donny and I didn't feel I had the right to tell you anymore . When he proposed and I knew my advice was at least in some small part a contributing factor to you accepting I thought my world had ended . I threw myself into anything just to try and forget then the day before yesterday Frasier came by and told me you had set a date and were having a party and it hit me again like a sledge hammer. The letter is a type of therapy I sometimes use with my patients. The idea of pouring your emotions out on paper is supposed to help you deal with it . I put it in the envelope and addressed it and I thought I put it in the drawer but it must have fallen on the floor . My secretary found it and when she was mailing some referral letters she added it to the pile . And that's how you got it."   
  


He sighed and finally looked to her for some reaction . Tears where rolling down her face , it was more than he could take "Please don't cry" he said taking her hands in his "I never meant to make you unhappy I'm so sorry"   
  


Daphne looked at him , the sincerity in his eyes took her breath away "I don't want to lose my best friend" she said between sniffs "but I don't see where we can go from here . I'm so confused"   
  


"I don't want to lose you either . Last night when the thought that you were angry with me so full of hate when I left yesterday hurt me a thousand times more than the thought that you didn't love me . I don't know were we go from here either but I do know that if you give me a chance I will do everything in my power to make you the happiest woman on earth . On the other hand if friendship is all you ever think there'll be between us , I can live with that I just can't stand to lose you" He looked to her for some response   
  


"I need time to think" she said   
  


Niles relaxed a little , thinking was good , at least she wasn't dismissing it outright "I was just about to make coffee" he said "would you like some?"   
  


"I'd love tea" she answered "do you have any"   
  


Niles smiled , for her he'd keep the stars in a tea caddy "Always" he said "I'll be right back"   
  


Daphne sat back in the couch , every minute that passed seemed to make the situation more complicated. She looked at the piece of paper still in her hand and toward the kitchen door . Was any of it worth the risk ? She asked herself . In what seemed like seconds Niles was back with the tea and coffee . He set the tray on the dinning table and started to pour , she stood up and went to join him . He turned and smiled at her   
  


"Ok I've thought about it " she said not returning his smile I don't know what's right in this sort of situation god knows I've never been good at relationship up to now , but I'm not sure any amount of thinking is going to make it clear . I do know one thing as long as the What if's? And the If Only's are hanging over us we can never be friends again , not like we were . I'm willing to try , but we have to take things slowly , I'm not ready to rush head long into another relationship , that's the mistake I made with Donny . And to be honest I don't know if I love you or if I could fall in love with you and I can't offer you any guarantees on how it will end. You said you thought there was an unwritten story between us , well I'm willing to pick up a pen , I just hope it has a happy ending."   
  


Niles handed her a cup of tea "Well then" he said "lets start at chapter one , and the good thing about a story you've never read before is the anticipation , te desire to read the next word , to turn the next page , to gt to the end , which ever way that end might go . And I have a feeling this ending will be very happy" 


	6. love letters 6

Love Letters pt 6   
  


It had been six months to the day since the letter incident and Niles sat in cafe nervosa contemplating how his relationship with Daphne was progressing. Everything had been very cautious at first , he was determined not to ruin things by going too fast but now things seemed to be going very well and he could never imagine them being apart. He didn't think it was possible for him to love her any more but , everyday he did and everyday he wanted her more , but he was going to take her lead and until she made it clear she wanted to take things further he would be happy just being with her. He looked at his watch . They had a dinner date and he should have been home already , he was due to pick her up in an hour.   
  


***********************************   
  


Daphne stood in front of the mirror and looked at herself up and down. Shoe could hardly believe the change in her own feelings over the past six months. Not it was an anniversary of sorts and Niles had something planned. He'd told her to dress smartly , he was taking er somewhere a little bit special , so that day she'd gone shopping and bought something very special . Looking at herself now she knew she'd made the right decision . The midnight blue velvet traced the curves of her body and the dipped neck line revealed just enough of her cleavage . Her hair was fastened with a silver clip incrusted with tiny blue stones which perfectly matched her dress. Smiling she slipped on a pair of flat strappy saddles and sprayed a little obsession , then lifting the little clutch bag off her bed she rushed out of the room just as the door bell rang.   
  


Niles was standing by the door talking to Frasier when she came into the room, seeing her he stopped mid sentence   
  


"Oh Daphne" he said when he'd gotten his breath back "You look amazing . That dress , and your hair and....... well I'm speechless."   
  


"You really like it ?"   
  


"Well , yes , I mean if I could get my eyes back of these stalks and slow my heart rate I'd tell you again" Niles looked at his watch "We better get going or we'll miss our reservations. Frasier I'll call you about that referral in the morning"   
  


"That's great Niles" Frasier replied smiling at Daphne as she walked past "and he's right ," he continued "you do look amazing"   
  


"Thank you" Daphne said blushing a little as she rushed into the elevator "She had no idea where Niles was taking her but he defiantly didn't want to be late.   
  


******************************** 

As they drove through the Seattle streets , the calm stillness of the warm spring evening made Daphne smile .   
  


"Where are we going?" she asked placing her hand on Niles knee   
  


"Oh now he replied with a mischievous grin "that would be telling , you are just going to have to trust me"   
  


She sighed contentedly she had no problem trusting him , he'd never let her down and if he had something panned she was sure she was going to love it . Looking around as familiar land marks flew past she was sure of one thing , they were heading for the pier . As it came into sight she was struck , as she always was , by the contrasts it had . Here , like no where else she knew , fast food restaurants and top class bistros where you never underdressed and were never late for reservations could live side by side. Niles pulled into one of the parking lots close to the edge of the shingle beach and turned off the engine. There were very few cars around and Daphne knew it was some distance to any of the restaurants. Then right on cue a horse drawn carriage drew up and marked time by the car.   
  


"Your carriage awaits" Niles said smiling   
  


Now it was daphne's turn to be speechless , no wonder he'd been so worried about being late. He was out of the car and opening her door he extended a hand to help her out , when she was beside him he locked the doors and helped her into the waiting carriage. As they sat side by side , his arm draped loosely around her shoulders and a fine cotton rug covering their knees the carriage trundled along taking them to their destination. All around them people milled enjoying the mild evening and other couples cuddled together in carriages identical to theirs . The carriage pulled up outside a brightly lit restaurant and the driver waited as Niles climbed down and helped Daphne back on to the pavement.   
  


When they were seated and Niles had ordered wine from the stiffly dressed waiter who showed them to their table he relaxed back in his seat and looked across the table at Daphne.   
  


"This place is wonderful" she said "and the carriage , Niles how do you think of these things ?"   
  


"Nothing is too much trouble for you" he replied "and besides it's an anniversary, six months together and still writing" he smiled at her . The relaxed atmosphere and the comfort he now felt in her presence gave him courage and he decided a little taking stock may be in order "Do you think you made the right choice?" he asked .   
  


Daphne looked at him , breathing deeply she was about to answer when the waiter came to take their order . When he'd gone Niles looked at her waiting to hear what she was going to say   
  


"You know , it's funny you should ask that" she said sending Niles heart racing and giving him butterflies in his stomach , what if she said no ? "I spoke to Donny last night" the butterflies were fast turning into seagulls and Niles thought he might be sick "He asked me the same thing , you see if we'd gone ahead we'd have been married yesterday. That was the date we never got to announce . By now I would have been Mrs Donny Douglas"   
  


Niles was beginning to feel like the room was spinning he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to his next question but he asked it anyhow. "And what did you tell him?"   
  


"I told him I'd never been more sure of anything , that things were going great between us and I can't remember the last time I was so happy"   
  


In spite of his own relief Niles couldn't help but feel sorry for Donny. To have the woman you were supposed to marry , tell you , on the day you were supposed to marry her , that she was so happy with someone else would be awful . The feeling passed quickly as his own sense of relief took over. 

They talked incessantly all throughout dinner , they discussed what they both hoped for the future and about the mundane everyday things people want to hear about each other when they are completely in love. Niles complained about his awkward patients and Daphne told him the latest news from her eccentric mother and mad brothers . When they had paid the bill and were back outside Niles took her hand , he was about to hail and carriage to take them back to car when Daphne stopped him .   
  


"It's a lovely evening"she said "lets walk back"   
  


"If that's what you want"Niles replied smiling broadly at her as they started toward the car.   
  


The night was warm and clear , the sky was a blanket of stars above them and the crescent moon appeared to be smiling at them . Other couples passed them by and all around them the night seemed to be celebrating love . Niles was absorbed in his enjoyment of the moment when the car came into sight.   
  


"I guess we should get you home" he said squeezing Daphne's hand as he reached into his pocket for the keys . As he went to unlock the door she pulled him close   
  


"You know" she said "I don't have to go home tonight , I'm sure they could manage without me for breakfast"   
  


Niles kissed her , then rested his forehead on hers "Are you sure?" he asked   
  


Daphne nodded "I love you , I want to be with you" she replied   
  


Niles felt like everything in his world was finally perfect , seven and a half years of patience had finally paid off , she loved him , she was his , with a smile he opened the car door ;   
  


"I love you too" he said "see I told you this story would have a happy ending , now lets go and start writing volume two"   
  



End file.
